NEW THREAD FOR 2940 --- HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Walking]

It's just hard, because we communicate just fine regarding business issues, but as soon as it turns to anything personal, H just shuts down completely... I am the same person, whether it's business or personal, and I don't feel like I "shift gears" and talk/act differently whether it's business or personal, .... I know that is a big one for H for me to work on. He needs to work on it, too. Besides those main issues, I honestly am still doing some soul searching to learn what else I am supposed to be learning from all of this. It's not that I feel like I'm perfect; I know I'm far from that. I just am having some difficulties with seeing all that I am to be learning right now. AND I'm eager to just get on with this, so that's making it even more frustrating. ..

Hey strong girl

Just 3 comments

1. I guess it's no coincidence that business is going well and relationship is in the toilet given those communictaion issues.

2. Has H always had a different communication style when it came to Rs?

3. The answers (or perhaps the questions) will come to you when you are ready to understand them. Be patient and loving with yourself.

You know I've been thinking a lot about the things ImLin has been saying about you know what to do, so why don't you just do it?

I was trying to fit that analogy to my life, because I've been the same in so many things - like I know that if I ramped up my training I'd have the body of Elle McPherson (and I WANT that body, I think everything in my life would be perfect if I had that body), or if I networked more I'd have better business connections and my career would be better, or if I spent just 1/2 - 1 hour a day on housework, my home would be immaculate and I'd be really happy with that - but I don't. I sleep for an extra half hour and go for a walk rather than working out, or I turn down invitations to work things because I can't be bothered (and I don't look like Elle McPherson, so I don't feel like there's much to endear me to the waiting network) and I blob in front of the TV when I get home, instead of cleaning the shower screen!!! You know?

So I thought about what my ever-patient therapist would say about it and I know she'd say it was because I subconsiously think I don't deserve to look like Elle, have a great career or a clean house. She's say that there is a little girl inside of me that thinks all of that is too much hard work for a woman who is unlikely to ever amount to much anyway. She'd say it's time I thought about it with a grown-up rational brain and make decisions for myself based on doing things that I conciously want to empower myself with, rather than letting that little girl, who just reacts because she doesn't know any better, sabotage my life by encouraging me to take the 'easy' way out of everything.

I don't know what I think, but I'm going to keep thinking about it. Thanks Lin for raising this.

V