Matilda, I just got back from the party. It was a great time! I ended up staying about two hours (my average). I like to leave when I've reached a saturation point, and I know I would just be going thru the motions.
I was sorely needed as there were more ladies than men. I was kept busy.
I'm trying to work on what my dance teacher advised--to be more relaxed and not think so much about getting the patterns right. I think the ladies appreciate a more relaxed simple dance, to a stiff complicated one.
My W was friendly to me, and said hello to me. She also asked me to dance! Our dance together is a reminder of what we're supposed to be striving for with DB--relaxed, pleasant encounters with our WAS. This is what they're looking for in their lives (among other things). The more we can duplicate those types of encounters, the more the LBS can "stay in the game."
I had several nice conversations. The one was with a lady who has a creative writing degree. I shared with her my experiences at my writer's group. She seemed impressed with my goal of writing a short story. She said that I could "pick her brain" anytime.
A classmate also confided in me about a tough class she had today. She was critiqued pretty tough by the teacher. I was able to empathize, as I had a similar experience recently.
Another classmate got me out on the dance floor to dance merengue, which I'm usually shy about dancing.
There were definitely some positives tonight. I'm getting more comfortable as a dancer, and getting relaxed so that the lady has a good experience. My W and I had a positive experience together. My W got to see me mixing and connecting to people. I had one meaningful conversation with a fellow writer, and moved our relationship forward.
I felt the fear, went to the party anyway, and increased my confidence, sense of connection, and personal power.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
