I agree that your W is being disrespectful of you, the M, and herself, but she obviously doesn't see it that way. From my perspective, I think she sees it as her asserting her independence.
Being, It sounds like you and others are expressing anger perhaps I should be feeling. I think I have waves of anger/resentment that she doesn't get to see. I think my GAL activities serve as a balm, and have a calming effect. Isn't that in your signature line, about friends as the balm to the pains of love?
I was reading on the internet that treating the spouse differently in public is a typical sign of infidelity. It certainly makes sense. Her wanting to downplay the M in our dance community has been going on even before the sleeping elsewhere behavior occurred.
As far as persevering, I think DB should get easier, because of increased acceptance, realistic expectations, increased distance from the R, greater investment into self and GAL, and no longer fearing a D, and life without your W.
The next bump in the road is the difficult discussions regarding the decision to D or Piece. I'll have to plan for these.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
