Sorry you hit one of "those" bumps this weekend. It is a normal, natural bump to experience. I think I hit that one about 3weeks ago when I put my foot down about OW and have now backed off. No more snooping or seeking.
Yep, it IS one month for every year of marriage.
BUT
My question has also been, what about the pre-marriage years? Do I need to count those too?
Keep letting H feel what he is doing for the kids. It will give him purpose.
Like you, I have the same thoughts, feelings, concerns and questions, especially since children are involved.
Hugs for now!
MariS
"Going for the Gold & not the Booby prize"
Become the change you want to see.....
Me - 37 WAH - 35 child - 2yrs Separated - August '06 Married - 10yrs, Together 18 Not feeling WAH's internal struggle - Feb '08
since last sunday, we did have a talk about our "visitation" situation. that day was like the worst days this year. he made me feel like crap...but i think i overreacted a bit after a long while talk we managed to be friends again and just take the course. HE decided he wants to go with the flow not the standard court orders. which is THE best thing for the kids in my opinion. the kids have been sooo happy that they've spent so much time with their dad.
i finally told him that i wasn't going to be in limbo for much longer. i told him he needed to make a decision and stick with it. so he did, i guess. we'll see.
me = 34 H = 35 kids = 3 worst day of my life: march 24, 2006 he filed: april 20 Present day: Wedding ring on, he's looking forward to another baby, taking day by day, we talk about our feelings whenever possible.
Glad to read you were able to be a little more firm w/H and yes, you did get a decision out of him, even though it is a small one. I agree that going w/the flow is better than the standard court AND can work to your benefit. (kids too)
It is SOOOO hard when children are in the mix.
How did this weekend go?
Sending you a BIG hug!
MariS
"Going for the Gold & not the Booby prize"
Become the change you want to see.....
Me - 37 WAH - 35 child - 2yrs Separated - August '06 Married - 10yrs, Together 18 Not feeling WAH's internal struggle - Feb '08
I've been keeping up on your thread, but haven't had much to say (maybe too many problems of my own). I think though your exchange was rough, it might have been a good thing. You had a problem, argued it out, and came to terms. There are some here (probably myself included) who wouldn't be able to make such a situation a success.
i invited him for dinner tomorrow and he agreed. i don't think he has a clue about the date. he hasn't always been good about anniversaries or birthdays. so i'm thinking he agreed on dinner just because it gives him time with the kids, not because of our anniv.
not gonna mention it to him either. he may just cancel. we'll see what happens. all sorts of good memories are coming up and i'm just missing my husband more. i remember he would sorta forget but i'd quietly mention it to him and he'd come up with the most original surprises. i was never into material things for birthdays or anniversaries. he would always make that day memorable for both of us...........i am missing him so much.
he's at our house every other day but our love isn't. i have no clue if he loves me or if he even misses me. i'm grateful that he's around for our kids, that's for sure! i guess my feelings will have to wait for now. all i care about is our kids feelings, they shouldn't have to feel neglected or abandoned. i'm thankful that he finally saw his kids living life without him and sometimes not even ask about him. things happen for a reason.
me = 34 H = 35 kids = 3 worst day of my life: march 24, 2006 he filed: april 20 Present day: Wedding ring on, he's looking forward to another baby, taking day by day, we talk about our feelings whenever possible.
after a long while talk we managed to be friends again and just take the course. HE decided he wants to go with the flow not the standard court orders. which is THE best thing for the kids in my opinion. the kids have been sooo happy that they've spent so much time with their dad.