I feel you pain, I really do. I too did that xtian thing of waiting till marriage for sex, hoping that when we got married, all the little things I ignored as problems would go away. Then when the sex wasn't good from the get-go, the W just pulled away from it. I distinctly remember feeling lonely during my honeymoon. So I too could say that things have not gone well from day 1. I too tried a number of things to win her love, affection, desire. Of course I now realize they were mostly "placating" unmanly behavior which drove my W further away. I too have tried lots of conversations, but never seemed to get through. Of course I now realize that my conversational abilities weren't the best.
And I too went through the withdrawal period like you are in right now. I too felt like a part of me was going to die. In fact, many days I am back there. You do have one important advantage over me. You are aware of the fact that you are vulnerable. You said you worry about "doing something you may regret." Keep that thought in your head and always try with everything you have so that you don't do something you will regret. It makes things much harder to fix afterwards and you will feel much worse about yourself and your hopes for the future. I'm sure you will agree when I say that the pain you feel right now is plenty enough. Please don't add to it.
That being said, you mentioned briefly the counseling. Could you go into more detail about it? You said it was initiated by his anger. How was his anger manifesting itself? How did he respond to the counseling? Did things get better for awhile then just slide back down, or did he resist it the whole time?
You say he "seems to listen and things start to get better and then nothing happens." How often do you bring up the subject of your dissatisfaction (to put it mildy) with the M? Could you give us general examples of how the conversations go?
Your situation sounds common to many of us here. I don't mean that to denigrate your pain, I do understand many of your feelings. It is often in the specific differences between our situations tha solutions can present themselves. And there are a lot of really smart people on this board who can point things out to you, give you advice on what to work on, etc. It may or many not work. As COG said sometimes we just have to realize that our SOs may just not be capable of being or willing to be the kind of person that we need. Then we have a really hard choice, one I sincerely hope you do not have to make.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
