COG, Thanks for the imput. It does help at least to get my thoughts & feelings out there. It's just so frustrating and like you said in a post elsewhere I know I'm ok and not the one with the problem. I feel my H's pain too, I mean what if I didn't have the desire, but what is frustrating is that every time he points out a fault of mine or something that I do that irritates him, I really try to do everything in my power to change myself. And I used to go out of my way to please him but now I take things he says as constructive critisism and change myself for me. I also work out and take good care of myself(that's a whole other frustrating thing: I get soooo many compliments from everyone guys and girls, just not my H)I should have the lowest self esteem and worst attitude, but I don't. If he knew how many guys have hit on me in the last year alone he would freak. He did make me quit my job(mainly to let me stay home and take care of our child and the house)but also I think because the majority of the people I worked with were men. He's 48, I'm 43 I have a child 6yo.I am a Christian and that is probably why I haven't cheated, but boy have I been tempted. It is encouraging to hear you say that you have chosen to do the right thing, I know so many people- christians and non-christians who have not. Some are happier but most are not. Basically I don't know how to get through to him. I think I'm going to try a letter (since my words seem to go in one ear and out the other) cause I'm tired of crying and feeling like a cruel joke has been played on me. Thanks for listening(I'm rambling I know) God Bless you too. nvraln
