Need another opinion, is my W OM, friend or more?

[andyv]

I would like another opinion from anyone regarding my W OM.

She has been seeing him for 5 months, and he is 10 years her junior. She is 36 he is 25. He used to coach her kick boxing class, and he had a girlfriend (W friend).

I think the he is single now, and my W has stated that she likes him and finds him attractive, however she does not know how he feels about her, but she hasn't ruled out the possibilty of a relationship. Her cousin has told me that he is not interested in my W, only as a friend???? But W is good friends with him and sees him nearly everday, or txt's him via mobile phone several times a day. Can a man in his mid 20's have a friendship with a female with daughter, going through a separation, and 10 years his senior.

They go to party's together, clubbing and movies. I think she pays for him when they do go out.

The other day, she told me she was going to the movies with my 7 y/o daughter, and her girlfriend, but I later found out from my 7 y/o that she took the OM. She told my daughter not to say anything and told him he was her friend. My DD said they talked, watched the movie and went thier separate ways afterwards.

I don't want to sound like a chump, but I really want to believe what my W is telling me. She is going through a MLC (all the symptoms) and has started this relationship with OM whilst I have been away with work.

When I got back she told me that I was not there emotionally for her and that she wanted to separate (after 17 years together, married 13). She told me she did not love me but still cared for me and wanted closure. She back dated the separation to November (last physical contact) and saw a divorce lawyer while I was away with work in Dec/Jan, returning Feb.

When I got back, I did all the wrong things, spied, cried, yelled, got angry, etc etc, and she told me that I was pushing her towards another relationship.

I am very confused. over the last 3 weeks I have read both Divorce Buster and Remedy and have started doing the steps, and she has been more pleasant towards me, and is starting to tell me her movements, however she is still seeing this OM. And she also goes out nearly every night, weekends she may stay out till 4-5 am.

I have stopped everything regarding the questions etc and have been a perfect Husband and Father, spending every minute catching up with DD for the time spent away, doing more things to help W around the house, taking up my own activities and going out socially with my friends, trying to get my confidence back and look like my life is still going on without her.

What the heck, please can anyone help with any advice.