Update- I took a risk and Instant Messaged my XH on the Monday after Easter. We had a nice exchange. He kept commenting about how he hasn't put a lot of effort into finding somone to date. He doesn't know where to find them, his friends have introduced her to some, but... he wants somone but he isn't putting a lot of effort into it. I just joked it off. Didn't really react to it. He said, "Well I am sure by now you have a boyfriend or a friend with benefits." I just told him no.
He suggested I come over after he have dinner with his 57 y/o friend. I did and it was nice. Kind of like the "old times" of this past year! It was nice just to be close to him.
He is currently looking of a house to buy. I am a avid fan of looking at home on the net, so we chatted about a few. I searched and found some for him. He really seems to appreciate it.
He called be at work on Wed. after he had looked at a house. We chatted. he was over at is 57 y/o friend's house doing laundry. I jokingly asked if he was dating her.. he said something about that is why I married you then he started talking to her dog b/c it needed to go to the bathroom.
I saw him last night too. He took today off work today. He said it was b/c he was stressed. I asked what he was going to do, he was sort of cryptic saying "He was going to keep himself busy." He did e-mail me thanking for helping him relax last night. then I sent him some info on a house and replied, thanking me for letting him know. He will def. look into it.
I think him getting a house is a GREAT thing. He needs to experience some responsibility. He will have to maintain a house. He didn't like to do it here and wasn't handy either. His family won't help him and his 57 y/o friend always hires "friends" to do the work for her. ANd XH doesn't have that much money to do that for a lot of things, plus he is cheap when it comes to things like that. I hope he finds a house and realize how lonely it is without anyone else in it. I hope he realizes how much nicer it is to has someone around. I hope he realizes that I have stood by him throughout all of this. I hope that he is able to step and and follow his heart rather than fear what others might say.
**Side note: apparently he "vowed" to his friends that he would be good. WHat exactly he meant by that I am not sure, he hasn't told me. I am not sure if he vowed to not talk to me? Or jus vowed to not be physical with me? But whatever it was, he said he won't tell them that he is seeing me again (in the acutally visually laying eyes on me sense, not the romantic sense), b/c he would be embarrased b/c he vowed to them that he would be good.
Maybe this is a step forward... maybe this is me being too "needy" and taking whatever scrapes I can get. I don't know. All I know is that there is an odd sense of peace about me, for now at least. I can only cross my fingers and hope that this is going to lead in a postive direction. While I was giving him a back massage I "think" he was going to cuddle with me, but I turned a certain direction and fell off the bed. Good comic relief, but ruined the moment.
