I'm new here and need help

[hannahsmom]

Hi all
Lately I have been feeling
very alone and scared


I feel lonely in my own house - I get worried that when I GAL I am telling my H I dont want him around
I was so much stronger before - it is wearing on me and I am worried that I'm doing all the wrong things
I tried keeping a journal to try to track what was working and what isnt - but I only seem to write in it when I am on the brink of a meltdown and its the rantings of a lunatic and is not helpful after I read it later

H is still at home - we still occasionally do things together - no physical contact at all - we are like brother and sister or best friends
I am afraid to invite him to do things - concerned he will feel pressured - but I feel like he is drifting away from me
He talks about the future - doing stuff to the house - vacation plans with our D - but he is also distant physically - never touches me - not even a hand on the shoulder
It hurts so badly I cry all the time - it is ironic because before when I was oblivious the lack of sex did not bother me cause I was tired living my life balancing work , home , activities with D etc but at that time I was in lala land thinking I had it all - great husband - comfortable life, good job etc
I have never ever felt so unloved in my life - I am so sad

Is time on my side ? Its been 7 months since the bomb and no movement on him moving out
what does that mean - I am trying to make sense out of the non-sensical - I know but today I am having lots of trouble
being strong
Thanks for listening HM