Too many questions for tonight Brue. Tonight you are just gathering data and listening to him.
I think that you should also focus on what would a functional and satisfying marriage look like to you?
If I were in your shoes the only way I would allow H to move back would be if we agreed to really work together to rebuild our marriage by doing the following things:
1. we go to weekly couples counceling. 2. We schedule regular date nights to keep the romance up and we take turns planning date night. 3. We schedule regular times to discuss things that are on our minds and wait until those times to discuss them rather than ambushing each other with issues at inoportune times. 4. We work toward intimacy in the bedroom and work at pleasing each other in new ways. We get and read books about this (Tantra baby!). 5. We remain open and truthful and allow each other to have our feelings without taking it personally. 6. We have regularly scheduled alone time 7. We have regularly scheduled time with friends. 8. We read relationship books together in bed at night (Passionate Marraige, Getting the Love you Want, 5 Love languages, Mars/Venus, etc). 9 We do one relationship weekend seminar at some point. 10. We find one activity that we both like that we will do together.
YOu get the idea.
YOu are the one in charge here. You can say yes or no and you can designate the terms. The terms should be about building a better and stronger marriage and if that is what he wants he doesn't need to answer all your questions with words. Instead he will be willing to do what needs doing to repair and rebuild your marriage and he will show you with his actions his good intentions.
Don't settle for less than you deserve but also let him know that you appreciate his willingness to try and that you believe with a little work and effort you can have sonmething better and more passionate than you had before.
