Being, Thanks for the affirmation. I'm bound and determined to grow from this, and do everything I can to stand for this M. My plan is to review this stance after one year (11/07).
The infidelity article I read by Shirley Glass, helped me to begin some preliminary planning for if and when we make it to Piecing. I would want to have a conversation with my W at some point, about what she learned about what she needs to do be happy.
Glass believes that an A allows the WAS to express a side of themselves that has been dormant (of course there are more constructive ways to discover this). Sex is not the primary motive for women to have an A. The WAS believes that the M (true or not) cannot provide this experience for her, or she doesn't know how to create this experience for herself. Either the H (in my case) has to be flexible enough to allow the R to provide this, and/or the WAS has to take responsibility for herself (in my W's case) in meeting needs, that a R can't provide. The WAS needs to develop realistic expectations of what a M can provide.
This is a positive way for the LBS to frame the M so that constructive discussion can occur around this issue. The question to be discussed is, what needs to occur for you to be happy? Growth would occur if the lessons of the A are incorporated into the M. The tragedy would be if the WAS continues to expect others to provide happiness for them and fails to do the work of personal growth.
My W and I had a friendly chat about her return to my Friday night dance venue. She wants me to be more assertive about asking her to dance. How about that?
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
