NEW THREAD FOR 2940 --- HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[25yearsmlc]

HS/Tam

I think the pill for the MLCer is arsenic, or something like that....

I LOVE the line, "don't take this personally" as a reason an MLCer gives for leaving...gee, why would you take it personally? Hmmmm, oh yeah, now I remember. B/C you are Married!! And btw, ending a marriage is a flippin' PERSONAL thing to do....sheesh!!

Okay, so you are in the human race and erred. Was it really your backslide that caused the outburst from him, or the reverse? IF you triggered the words from him, then what about text messaging him and apologizing, or setting up a time for it?

And if he is an MLCer, don't forget to ignore everything he says and believe only half of what he actually does...a lot of the reconciling consists of 2-3 steps forward, with 1-2 backwards. I am still doing that with H, but less often, less severely and with faster make ups on both ends.

They can only handle so much guilt/shame and we have to make sure we can find the line between wise enforcement of a healthy boundary, and holding something over someone's head forever. They have to know you are capable of moving forward. And yes, that means forgiving, and no, that is not easy. Hardest thing ever, so far. I keep thinking I have forgiven H, but then some trigger comes up and bites me in the rear. I think forgiveness (yes it is for us, etc) is like having a baby. You conceive it, it grows and eventually you give birth to it and you're done. But it takes a long time to go from embryonic status to full fledged "I'm Here!" status. Make sense? What's up with your H anyhow? I don't know your sitch, where is your thread? If it's not intuitively obvious, I'll be lost in cyber land b/c I am computer illiterate. In law school the computers were just emerging. I figured all the little people who would eventually work for me at my big important law firm, would know what to do with the silly machines...BIG mistake.
j-