You know? I'm scared.....scared enough to not even be able to put down on paper all the questions that need to be discussed.
I wasn't given time..........and yet I've had the last 14 months to burn the questions into my heart.
I didn't think he would ask about coming back yet.........and yet I did think it was quite possible he would ask.
An hour and 8 minutes until he comes back here for dinner.
I've been dating him for months.............yet the biggest discussion we have had was back in October. Nothing since then.
To go from that time til now without talking this marriage stuff and then just to move back in? I don't know.........doesn't make sense........and yet it does - knowing him.
I've been burned too many times. Don't want to get burned again. If I say yes to coming home I'm choosing my own burning in a way. This can be avoided by saying no.
The roommate idea is not so bad if you have a roommate willing to help around here.......not one only wishing to live off of the very little that I have..........but then again.........this roommate is still my H.......and that has to be considered as well.......for better or worse you know.
Sh!t!!! I hate decisions........it's the one thing I haven't improved on in the last 14 months.......I'm still a huge procrastinater with decisions.
Yes, I've been standing for marriage.........BUT......I admit....I seem to be the exception to the rule around here.....I've not been pining away for H to come home and come to his senses.
This has been such a great growth time for me.
I'm not ready to give it up..........
but I will.
but I sure do like the peace and quiet.............
brue
I'm alive, I'm happy - why shouldn't I tell the world I've got my head screwed back on just fine. Life is good for the Brue!
