I have no idea how I missed that entry; makes much more sense now. And that wasn't wimpiness. Sounds like a dang movie scene that we all have wished would play out in our own lives at one point or another. Hard to turn that down when you've wished for it so long!
On the other hand, his knee-jerk reaction to your boundaries is just maddening. Straight to D, do not pass Go or collect $200? He is a piece of work. He should kiss your fcuking ASS for the REST OF HIS LIFE for you putting up with this sh!t from him.
Just channeling your inner rant. Or perhaps because I just finished watching Miami Vice with H tonight and I want to get all violent! Cool rock music, big weapons, pretty people. Lock and load, baby. ha!
Woo. I'm not worked up or anything, you think?
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
Woo, you should charge for that channeling talent baby.
Too bad you're on the other side of the country...you could just come on over and we could be some wicked hot assassin babes--watch out for the DB Chicks! Angelina Jolie'd have nothin' on us.
It's been a sad day for me. I feel very peaceful about the sitch, but sad. No options look appealing to me tonight. I got very little sleep after last night's drama, so maybe I'm just tired...Nope. Still sad.
Life wasn't supposed to be like this. BUT, I am a lot cooler than I was at the beginning of this journey. I can be grateful for that! And my three BEAUTIFUL babies.
H called at 11 pm last night, wanted to know if I was going to come home to talk. I said no.
This stand is new for me, but I've realized that I cannot be alone with him. It took me ten years to see it, but he has a way of laughing at my feelings and thoughts, minimizing them, and keeping everything on his terms. "You want me to look for a new job and go to counseling? I don't think so baby. That won't work for me. You'll just have to deal with what I've done--forgive and accept me for who I am."
Excuse me? I'm no longer willing to be in a pretend marriage where I am required to accept daily interaction and "friendship" with OW, accept that he's "working on it" (has been for three years now, and NOTHING is different until the last week when I finally made my stand), to accept that no deep or lasting changes are on the horizon. Actually, I need to say that he did talk about making some big changes in his email yesterday...but he's very skilled at telling me what I want to hear, so I have to see some action before I can believe.
In the process of my prior acceptance, I have sat quietly by, defending his actions to myself and our loved ones. I can't anymore.
The ironic thing is that I already have forgiven him for the past. But I cannot subject myself to more of the same treatment. I'm worth more than that.
so I have to see some action before I can believe.
Yes you do.
Quote:
But I cannot subject myself to more of the same treatment. I'm worth more than that.
You are a great person Aud and you are definitely worth more than that. Keep strong and stict to your boundries. It is his turn to do some of the work now...
I am proud of you and how strong you are on you stand. Keep it up.
Hugs, Ben
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Honey, you got a good head on your shoulders and you are standing your ground like no one's business. I say GOOD FOR YOU Aud, if he is trying to sweet talk you into turning a blind eye, then you did the smartest thing by staying away and not buying any bs.
There is acceptance of who someone is, and there is condoning bs, he wants both, glad you see this.
Hugs friend, I hope he chooses to be truthful and be a good H.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
So, no word from H until this afternoon when he called my out-of-state friend and asked her if he could fly me down to visit again for as long as I need to be away...he then bought a one-way airline ticket for tomorrow and called me to tell me to drop off the kids in the morning. I had to decline, as our son's third birthday is this weekend and I need to be in town to help with the Jr. Miss program next week.
He didn't know what to do from there. So he asked if I want to work things out, to which I replied, "yes!" He asked what I need, and I reminded him of the things I asked for in the note: work on finding a new job and go to counseling. We went back and forth for awhile and came to a compromise: he agreed to make changes to the things about his current job that are bothering me and go to counseling as long as it is future/solution oriented and not digging up the past. PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE TO ME!
We agreed to take this slow, give him time to show me his changes...he said he doesn't expect me to trust him any time in the near future, but he is sorry for hurting me and is willing to work on us.
So, the rollercoaster starts the pull up the next hill, with me FINALLY able to stand for what I need in our M. And knowing that I have the power and strength to do so. I know it's not going to be easy from here on out, but I am hopeful that I'm no longer pulling the freight train by myself.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
