Not sure if I can help, but I can surely offer up prayers. From what it sounds like - he still doesn't know what he wants to do and seems very self-centered.
You seem like you are in a good place (or at least the best place you can be in given the circumstances). So you may have to go with your gut on this. But I understand that it would be tough to let him stay only to have him walk out a month or so later.
Quote:
So he came over for lunch today and among other things casually said (as he put his arms around me) "so do you want a room-mate and a husband?"
What is he really asking here? Is he saying he wants to live there AND be your H finally? It could just be a financial ploy from his side, hard to tell. But I think you know him enough (or at least the old him) to discern the difference.
I think we all need to remember that we teach people how to treat us. It sounds like you have some ideas of how you want to be treated and your own expectations of how living together again would need to be for you. We are also telling ourselves NOT to have expectations when we go through this mess - but at what point do we need to start to have them? I don't really have a good answer, but perhaps when they start to come back. It may be less about expectations and more about boundaries - there is a difference. But "teach" him how you want to be treated. You have been through a lot, don't want to play games, and want to be honest. Make this clear to him. Heck, maybe even charge him for rent (sorry couldn't resist).
Perhaps he feels like you want to save the M and will do anything just to have him around. Maybe by being up front and honest with him about your feelings in all of this - he will return the favor by being honest himself. He may decide Yes - he wants to give it another go or No - it is not worth it. Just some thoughts.
I don't know if any of this helps. But I will say some prayers for you and hope for the best. I hope your weekend and any talks you have go well for you.
