Another day of second guessing myself

[Heywyre]

what's normal? I don't think there is any one particular answer for that. It is whatever you want it to be, I guess when you feel you have accepted your sitch as it is

Some can hang in there longer than others, some throw in the towel and regret later. Does it make one right and one wrong - no!! We all have our limitations and only YOU know where yours are

Sounds to me like you are pretty bitter though - here it is, two years later and you are still calling him an "*@%hole" - I gave that up already and I am into my 4th month of a second go-around with my H. Calling him names and being bitter about things hurts ME, and only ME, it does nothing to correct the situation and nothing to move things forward. It keeps us in the moment, in the hurt, in the pain. It's like a wound that we keep picking at, never allowing it to heal

Forget about getting "that part back" its not going to happen, its gone, get over it and move forward to make new memories, a new life together, better than the one before. If you keep waiting for the "old" to come back, you will be waiting a lifetime AND do you really want the old life to come back? After all, it is the old life that got you where you are today

You need to forgive him and move forward, forgiving is a gift you give yourself. It has nothing to do with him. It doesn't mean that you have to forget or that you condone what he did. All it does is free you from the burden you are currently carrying around

It's time Gwyn to do something for yourself and move forward, away from the pain and hurt, it's been long enough

If you don't feel that is something you can do, you either need to seek counselling to help you do it or get away from the sitch altogether - your decision, only you know what is best for you