Well, I bought a motorcyle and go on long rides. I work on my boat. I go fishing and hunting. I work out. I just worked on developing a fulfilling life. Sex is REALLY important, don't get me wrong about that, but contrary to popular opinion it's NOT an essential like food and water. That all said, I really do feel your pain. I'm pushing my W right now to wake up before it's too late. She's reading the writing on the wall but we'll see if anything changes.
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I feel so cheap and degraded like I'm begging. then he just does it. No foreplay, no french kissing, just on lips, just does it till he comes then goes to sleep(obligation fulfilled?). If I try to tell him what I like and don't like, he feels I'm putting him down and then will turn me down if I try again, so rather than put myself through that torture, I gave up on initiating. I'd rather suffer being w/o sex than suffer the rejection.
Oh I can understand where you're coming from. I'd probably do the same thing.
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victory? when I'm how old? and if it comes, great, but what if it doesn't?
Don't let your fears cloud your vision. Anything is possible.
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I'm at my witts end! I've been from 1-100 on everything I can think of(dressing, agressiveness, attitude), I feel like I've gone way over and above-I'm still here!!!
I really don't have enough experience to help you with that. I have'nt been able to succeed either. I think maybe to a certain degree our S's are just built the way they are. We may only have two choices, either love them unconditionally, or leave them, it just might not be possible for them to change.
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I started doing stuff for myself(not excluding him)and it did me a world of good, but the same haunting "thing" keeps coming back.
Yep, I know that feeling too. I can relate, unfortunately I don't have many answers.
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I would like to beat the odds and taste that victory but I feel defeated right now.
Well you may be behind in scoring, beaten up and bloodied, but you will have only been defeated when the game ends.
Hang in there!
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
