OW/EA Still Bothering Me

[RedHeadWife]

Also, the OW is usually on her best "dating behavior" in their sitch w/ our H's (or W's). Our H's don't know what "normal" would be like w/ OW. And, part of the problem, is that "normal" is what they have w/ us. Every day life. Stress, kids, work, dinner, laundry, etc., etc. which isn't that romantic. Unfortunately, as in my M, I allowed all of the above to override the efforts I needed to be making in the M which was a big part of the M breakdown.

I guess, as hard as this has all been, and I can truly only say this right now because things are going well w/ my H and I, that this whole "process" after the D bomb was beneficial in that I now see things a lot more clearly.

I certainly am never going to forget the lessons learned and, while we are making positive changes in ourselves, those hopefully will be concrete in us as well, making us better people in the long run.

I still don't like how I am feeling as far as insecure in my M and still not sure what is going on in H's head, and I am trying very hard to get the "you're lucky to have me, Mister" attitude, but not too overpowering, you know? I still feel as if I'm constantly catering to H and looking & wondering if something bad is going to happen again. I feel like a child sometimes looking for approval or something. I'm working on it though:)