Why do you have to change yourself? Marriage is all about change because you are seeking oneness. If seeking oneness is not your goal, then marriage would have no meaning. You could just be roomates or companions.
You mention communication and how that could help you marriage. This is true, it definitely helps. But you also have to realize that communication is a FEMALE need, it is not a need of most men. So when you say that the FIRST thing that you and your husband should do is COMMUNICATE, what you are saying is that the first thing you should do is meet YOUR need of communication. Commuication is going to do very little in filling HIS love bank, it will definitely fill yours. And what is he going to tell you that you already don't know? You know that he wants your desire, what more would he communicate?
You say "Not by just changing oneself to accomodate the other." Once men get married, that is ALL that we do. Think of it this way: Man and woman get married and they BOTH want sex everyday, they are compatible. 10 years later, he wants sex 3-5 times a week, she wants sex once in a blue moon. Now if they can not change to accomodate each other, then what should the man do? His ONLY choice at this point is to CHEAT on her. So you can see, marriage is ALL about trying to accomodate the other, if not marriage is effectively impossible.
