A couple of books that are really helping me - and my H has even started to read parts.....they are not targeted to anyone in particular but cover the betrayed partner, the unfaithful partner and even the affair partner.
"After the Affair; Healing the pain and rebuilding trust when a partner has been unfaithful" by Janis Spring "Not Just Friends; Rebuilding trust and recovering your sanity after infidelity" by Shirley Glass
I am finding them incredibley helpful and I'm not quite as far as piecing (just hoping that we are on are way there soon). I highly recommend them!
Good luck!
Me 36 ring on H 41 ring off S2 Together since 1992 Married: 2000 Bomb Aug 06 H moved out Oct 06 (and straight in with OW)