books targeted for men on piecing

[ourcrisis]

I will fix my thread up to reflect our current situation later. Short summary: Marriage OK/good but A happened since May, 2006. Bomb Oct , 2006. DB since Dec or so. H moved out 2 weeks ago (his reason: to make a decision). Now h has informed OW about ending the relationship. I do not know the details but I believe he is still "in the process" of ending it, meaning there are still contacts. H wants to come home but I told him I am very scared about him flip flopping and would like to see some reassurance that he is working on us instead of them. As such, I prefer that he stay out until later.

Having said all that, I would like to see if there are books that i can start to order or investigate for H to read. I have tons of books but most are geared towards female. I also have "getting back together" which I am reading.

I am not sure but I sense that h thinks everything can just go under the carpet and return to normal. He may not grasp the hard work needed ahead of us. I don't know if he will go for counseling again. He may think everything will be fine as long as he comes back and promises that it won't happen. For me, I want to go through the full motion, understand why it happened, what are the problems in our M (he still claims there is nothing wrong), how we can open up to each other, create a more fulfilling M, etc. I know it will be very difficult for me if I were to impose/explain to him why I need all these things. I think it will be better if there is a book that he can read so he can see it is important for us to get to the root of this (and knowing it will take years) to move forward.

I know I may not be quite here yet, but the signs are good so far.