It is a very difficult time for her, I know because I am still going through it some 4 years later. The low self esteem stems from achieving so much and then, boom! it is over. I have always been very independent (as I am sure she is/was) and the thought of going from earning more than my H to being someone who needed taken care of, and me not being able to contribute financially, just devastated me. I don't really know her, you would know better than I what she needs to build her self esteem. But whatever you do, it will have to be slowly and very gently otherwise you will just push her away even more.
What is she doing now work wise, do you know? Where is she living, how is she taking care of herself - these are all things that might give you a clue as to how you could help
Like I said, you will have to be careful. It might be something as simple as knowing where and when she does her groceries and just "bumping into her" and saying "can I give you a hand with those groceries" - this is just a kind gesture and not something she might take as "I can't do it on my own so he figures he has to help"
She has lost her identity, which was obviously her work, now she has to rebuild who she was/is - it takes time and a lot of patience
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
