" This vascillation between the two causes the confusion. You are spinning - going nowhere... ( I'm not sure how to put a quote in here so I copied it)
1210, How True this quote is. What an eye opener for me. That is exactly what it is. The other one is the fear of loosing. I had kinda of figured this out. Tam, it is right you have to begin to realize there i s no US. I have a hard time with this one because my H still is making business plans for us. Then he will also say I need to think what is best for Penny. That is what you need to do. What is the best for Tam....
"Love listens to each other, it waits patiently, it doesn't control, it allows each other their personal freedom, their thoughts whether agreed to or not, without pushing your needs on each other, nor to be ignoring other's needs." 1210 This is another good one. You are so right and you can't make someone love you the way you want. No matter how hard you try.
Virginia, I have been there. You wait for the calls and then you call him and try the block calls just to see if he will answer those. Why can't you have the patience to not react you think you are going crazy. I also put my husband on a pedestal even though he was really tough on me. I stood up for him with his family and friends because they all thought he was to hard on the boys and me. I thought that he would never do anything against me. I really hit a spot with him when this all came out about the OW. I told him that I never ever believed he wouldn't love me. He said he had never thought about it that way.
Tam, It is the hardest thing to try and gain control back of your life. You have let your emotions take over to the point you don't know which way to go. The way you want it to be ot the way it is now. Not knowing what which way it will turn. I'm just now feeling a little bit more control of my life and it has been a big struggle. Lots and lots of melt downs and mistakes. My big one was trying to convince my husband what the OW really trully is. It just made me feel worse and him not know who to believe and right now it is to believe her even though other people have told him about her too. So we all made big mistakes. It is the hardest thing not to push to hard and try and remain detached. If you read my thread it just happened to me yesterday.
You need to focus on you and the business. It is extremely hard. Especially your H and mine also keep making business plans for the future that include us. So my big challenge today was to think of the new business he told me about and how I could make it better for me too. That is if we did this we would do it just like he was becoming business partners with someone else. Same set of ground rules. I have to learn to become more proactive on new business and even the old business. I believe this is what you need to do too. This is becoming the confident person you were and will be come. It will better you emotionally and financially. Good luck!
Like always we are here for you. I have one friend that told me that there is a reason for all of this. Just like Virginia said. We don't know why are where it is taking us but there is a reason. It is just hard to understand.
Hey if guys have some advice left I could use some on my thread. I admire you guys so much.
Have a good night and I hope you get some sleep. Sorry I rambled on.
