We watch tv for a little bit and then I ask her to come cuddle with me. We are kissing for a little and then I get the speech.
"I just don't think dating you right now is a good idea" "I just don't have those feelings like I should and its not fair to you to put your life on hold. Maybe down the line this could work, I don't have a crystal ball but maybe 6 mo or a year or even 6 weeks" "I like the way my life is right now"
Talk about deja vu. I was in this exact same situation about 3 or 4 years ago.
Referring to some wisdom that circulates on this board, words to the affect of - "Actions speak louder than words" "believe nothing they say and half of what they do"
For my 2cents, you got her. She's all yours. However, and it is a big HOWEVER, is that's she's still in lala land. She's still and alien and on an excursion from the mothership.
I also believe that even though she has thawed a little, her head is still up her a$$ and it is still all "me, me, me, me & more me".
You have to ask yourself and to clearly understand why you want this woman?
The fact that your heart skips a beat sounds a little primordial and is more of a statement of lust or attraction which is insufficient to sustain a relationship.
Quote:
Now I am not saying she is perfect, but I do believe we could overcome our issues.
You do realize that MLC's see themselves as perfect? I challenge you to find one example on this board of an MLCer acknowledging that they have problems that a course in self help would resolve or improve?
You may think that the issues can be overcome but does your MLCer? Without her agreement and action, it ain't gonna happen.
The mistake I made was that I wanted to be a DB success story and spend 3 months keeping my mouth shut after kissing, ML, spending time together and hearing all the MLC BS after like you are hearing. But I didn't say a word, lived in limbo and we got back together. It didn't last long because the MLCer wasn't willing to budge an inch in terms of becoming a better person. To he!! with living like that.
You want her back. My view, you've got her. But what is it exactly that you are getting back remains unknown and I don't think that you know either setting aside the wishful thinking.
I agree with the advice that you are getting. Go back to DBing (GAL, LRT, be mysterious etc). Your choice to date is yours and although this is my personal view, I would encourage you to because you seemed to have low standards of what you think you deserve. It is an esteem issue. Build your confidence by meeting others.
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
