He is leaving to be alone to THINK - now what?

[ourcrisis]

Thanks for all the congrats. I am happy that he is coming back, but yes very cautious because I really felt my heart is truly broken and I am not sure if we can both go through piecing. It's like all my energy is used up in DBing and getting him to verbally commit now I don't know if I have anything left to fight the "real war".

Heartbroken, I have to tell you that you have been a great inspiration to me. I looked upon your journey as my guideline. At dinner with h, I told him I probably want him home ASAP, though hestitant without knowing why. THen after dinner, it darned on me that it's because of how cautious your h is about slowly coming home from end or Apr to May and how ow is calling, etc. I'm like, "now I know i need to go SLOW!!!". Believe me, you are a great force for I am sure not just me and many others here. Thanks.

H called last night saying he just wanted to hear my voice. I am quite sure that's just one of those "lines" to get the girl without much meaning. But I am glad that the effort to just to pretend. He did say he thought about what I said about not coming home until it's really over. He agreed and he told me yes, ending it was not as easy as he thought. I didn't ask more. I suspect it's either he cannot stop thinking about ow, or ow is calling/meeting h. So there is probably still contact there. H still seems to think he can come home soon (lease is ending in 2 weeks) but I am not so sure. However, I didn't say anything either because now I figure it is his problem to deal with. My condition is he's all for me when he's back. Whichever way he deals with it, whenever he comes back, it is his problem.
I am thinking about communicating with him a bit more or may be even a lunch, dinner every so often just to keep the sparks going. But have to be very careful to see what is appropiate. I really don't want to push him, ever.