Well there's a couple of things to consider here and this may be a possibilty. Just something to ponder....
I have observed this in some age 40+ women, and there's even a book out there about this... around menopause (not to say your wife is entering it but the time frame for this can be anytime in the late 30s to 50s. Premenopause and hormonal changes can occur very early or very late and can be severe or mild). When a woman is in her younger child-bearing years her body creates "caretaking" hormones. This is nature's way of ensuring that helpless and very needy human infants are patiently taken care of.
As women move into the premenopausal and menopausal stage these caretaking hormones decrease. Biologically, this is generally around the time children are older and teens... when they don't need as much caretaking and are closer to "leaving the nest." As that hormone decreases an individual is more likely to start thinking about themselves, their needs, where they want to be. I don't want to say that they become more selfish, but I think there's a tendency for some women to go in that direction. This is nature's way of ensuring that we let go of our kids. Of course different women probably experience this at different levels.
The description of your wife desiring to get more involved with her career and get away from childrearing reminded me of this. Combine this with her age and there may be something in this.
But then the whole cutting thing, that's a bigger problem. You need to find out how emotionally stable or unstable your wife is.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
