I can't stand anymore

[brandnewday]

HalfMissing,

First of all this is an open forum and as we are all entitled to our own opinions I have chosen to respond to your rather provocative post.

I have known him for 16 years and already had a friendship with him.

Yes, that is also a typical response of many of the WAS's on this forum. My own Husband also was back in touch with a former friend who he had known in high school so he too could use the excuse that he had known her for over 20 years.

I don't understand what you mean by sweeping the crap under the rug and all that. Are you of the opinion that my H left because of problems in our relationship?

Yes you are sweeping your crap under the rug. You are NOT dealing with the problem by jumping into a relationship with someone else. I do not know why your Husband left you but I can tell you that you were also a part of the demise of your marriage.

Yes, I know I love my husband and always will. I am not moving on to this person right now, but I am not going to fight a D if my H files one. I am not going to use all of my energy trying to get H back.

This is your choice alone to make. Nobody here is judging you for moving on and not fighting for your marriage. The issue is the other person and the new relationship you are planning.

Are you saying that I need to work on my own independence and improving myself as a person?

I do not know you to make that statement BUT if it was on the forefront of your mind then perhaps you have a problem in that area. Perhaps getting to know yourself before jumping into a new relationship might be best for you. Are you a co-dependant person? Have you ever been alone? Are you afraid to be alone?

I am sad that you feel that I have "to explain to my children why I am following this path." I do feel guilty about feeling this way and not doing everything I could do to try to get their father back.

Again this is the choice you have made. If your Husband is truly in MLC it could in fact take years and if you have chosen not to wait for him that is also your choice. The fact that you are so quick to move on to someone else is the part that bothers me.

Your children are so young and I feel so sorry for them that you have not tried harder and are willing to force another man into their lives so quickly.

I feel bad that I can't stand for the sake of my children.

There is a difference between CAN'T and WON'T!!!

I think he has done the right thing by telling me how he feels and then backing up and waiting for me to be divorced.

Why do you believe this man has honorable intentions? The fact that neither of you has even waited for the ink to dry on the Divorce papers doesn't show much integrity. Has your Husband even filed for a Divorce yet? I guess you have already made up your mind and I am not going to try and get you to change your mind.

We have had many conversations and we are so compatible and want the same things in life. Today, he admitted his feelings to me and talked about wanting a deeper relationship with me and the possibility of getting married in the future some day. He said he can't take the risk of getting his heart broken and wants to just be friends until I have time to decide what I want to do. This man is so good and would be a great father to my children. I feel like I was spiraling in depression and he came and pulled me out of it.

Listen to yourself!!
You sound like a teenager. Your knight in shining armour riding a white horse has come to rescue you. Honestly I think you are being ridiculous.
Please take some time and rethink this lunacy just for the sake of your children.
Your Husband dropped the bomb 3 months ago and your children have had no time to heal.
You have had no time to heal.
Stop being so selfish and start thinking about them and how your choices will affect them.