Seems like a long time....

[Heywyre]

NC - when I say take care of YOU, I mean that you have to go on, like she wasn't there. I know that isn't always easy but if you don't stop obsessing about the whole situation, it will drive you totally insane (I know). When you let things go and get into your own pace, so to speak, you will find things won't seem so stressed. If we are going to get through this mess, we are going to have to accept our spouse as they are, for the time being. If it is something you can't accept, only you will know when it is time to withdraw from the M altogether. But, if you are not there yet, you have to move forward. Right now all you are doing in sitting in neutral, waiting for HER to make a move, waiting for HER to make a decision, waiting for HER ..... get the point? You have to move forward for YOU. I am not saying to throw in the towel but unless you can get out of the obsessing mode (and I know its hard to do - and I have got a lot of 2x4's from the board regarding that myself) you will be stuck in quicksand forever.

Going golfing, spending time with friends is all great but if you are still carrying the resentment of paying the bills with nothing in return (and you sound like you are) then you don't really have a life do you? You are expecting to get something in return.

I have been in this situation for a long, long time but I intend (come hell or high water) to resolve it one way or the other. No, I don't know what the future holds but I tell you one thing, ever since I started living for ME, my H has noticed. Not in leaps and bounds, but he has noticed and is slowly but surely finding his way back into my life. It won't happen overnight but in the meantime you have to live for YOU (and any kids you might have - I don't happen to have any at home - YAY!!)

So, one day at a time - live for YOU, do things for YOU and I guarantee she will start noticing you are not living your life with just her in mind