I can't stand anymore

[HalfMissing]

brandnewday, I know I do not love my friend. That is why I used the word infatuated. However, I feel that in time I could easily love him and have a fulfilling relationship with him. We both agreed to both be friends and not let our relationship go to the next level until I am divorced. Yes, right now he makes me feel better about myself. I don't know why that necessitates that we could never have a more complete relationship in the future. I have known him for 16 years and already had a friendship with him. When I talk about feeling so compatible with him that is something that I always felt. It is not a new feeling that was caused by my mini-MLC.

I don't understand what you mean by sweeping the crap under the rug and all that. Are you of the opinion that my H left because of problems in our relationship? Yes, no relationship is perfect. I know that I was too interdependent on him. (The name I picked showed that.) Are you saying that I need to work on my own independence and improving myself as a person? I have been and will continue to do that. How can you say that I have not made any personal changes or plan to?

Yes, I know I love my husband and always will. I am not moving on to this person right now, but I am not going to fight a D if my H files one. I am not going to use all of my energy trying to get H back.

I am sad that you feel that I have "to explain to my children why I am following this path." I do feel guilty about feeling this way and not doing everything I could do to try to get their father back. I just don't think that is reality in my case because I don't think I have the strength to do it as many have. I can't do this for years.

missmyfriend, it is true that my friend misses his wife, but he has had other relationships since then. His talk about marriage in the future was to show that he did not want some casual fling and viewed me as someone who he could eventually want to marry. If he was trying to take advantage of the situation he could have. I think he has done the right thing by telling me how he feels and then backing up and waiting for me to be divorced.