Do you think there is still something going on? or could it be MLC - sounds like it to me
If you mean like EA or PA. I don't know. When all of this started I found some things that made me think so. Even confronted her a couple of times and brought it up in MC on a couple of different occasions. She denies and has always denied it. Says she has so much to do, she doesn't have time for an affair. That she just doesn't want to be married. She feels she'd be better off by herself. Since then, I know there is an xmale patient that has continued to keep in contact w/ W, afer his therapy was completed (W is a PT). W has also kept in contact w/ him. Phone calls & tm, that I know of. There have been a couple of times this has come up. W says he is only a friend. He's engage to be married this summer. He didn't become a patient until after all of this started.
I leaning more to the MLC still. W's 40. Went to grad school. Really wants her career. When we first got M, W said she wanted kids, 2 or 3. I told her I didn't know if I really wanted kids. Was still trying to grow-up myself-didn't want to be responsible for raising others. Now we have the family. I wouldn't trade it . Now W says she doesn't want to be known as a W or mother. Wants to be know for her accomplishments. Has stated numerous times she just has too much to do. Some issues came up a year or so ago. I told her I thought she was putting too much emphasis on her career, to the detriment of the family. WRONG THING TO SAY! She would volunteer to work holiday weekends, or schedule elective cont. educ. classes on weekend instead of doing family things. Once S8 started school, she would never want to schedule her vacation time to conincide w/ his days off from school or even summer break. She just wanted him to go to the b4/after daycare or camps all year round. Once S3 came around she started doing more w/ him and ignoring me and S8. Did this to me when S8 came around. Then, when all the D stuff started last summer, W got furious when either I would take time off or boys would go to GP and then not want her to pick them up. Other reason I'm leaning more to MCL. . . now all of sudden, she wants to do all kinds of diff. stuff. Said she was going to sky dive-but she's terrified of heights. Said she was going to scuba dive-but she's not that comfortable in water. Said she thought about learning to ride a motorbike. All this kinda funny considering I've been trying to get her to do it for years. I dive and ride motorbikes. Thought it would nice for her to be able to do some of things too. W absolutely wouldn't think of it. Now all of sudden, they're her ideas.
She also went through a lot w/ the birth of S's, my workers going out on strike, her F dying w/ little warning. W said she thought about sucide when her M died, years ago. Started "cutting" herself too. When things started last year, she started "cutting" again. I honestly think she's battling depression, but she refuses to see some one. W is going to C, but this C is into the holistic stuff and eastern philosopy. So's W. That the other thing. W was born & raised Catholic. Now, won't consider going to mass. W has issues w/ Church's position on woman and M. Our original MC thought she should get psychiatric help and get on AD. W started getting really mad @ her. When I first describe the sitch and her behavior to our second MC she thought she might be Bi-Polar, but then when it got brought up in one of our last meetings, MC denied it.
W also had a pretty crappy childhood. W's F was verbally and emotionally abusive to her and rest of F. B's weren't real nice either. Very cruel and mean in their teasing of her. W has reeeaaallly bad self esteme.
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Either way, she needs to decide one way or the other what she is going to do. I know I wouldn't be able to stand all the confusion
The confussion is really what is killing me. From one minute to the next I never know what to expect. What will be even worse is when we have to tell Ss again. S8 will be torn apart. He didn't take it well last time. Had nihgt terros. Always asking what he could do to help change her mind. Since the Recon. everytime he would here a raised voice you could just see him get scared.
I sometimes wonder if the all struggle and pain will be worth going through a second time. I almost think it would be better to let it go and me the boys can try to get on w/ starting a new life. Then I think of the boys and how they'll handle it. Even worse, S3 is more "aware" of things now. Last year it didn't really register on him. W's got this strange opinion that kids this age are "resilient", and they'll get over it. Every time W says that I just wanna crack her.
