well I gave spouse both a short and a long answer: short answer: NO, long answer: I will not encourage any expansion of friendship between the kids as long as spouse is in limbo (yes, I actually used that word) Spouse took it relatively well. She told me she hadn't encouraged friendship (somewhat true, although she has done some stupid things) and thought my logic was wrong. But I still get the last word.
Spouse also decided this would be a good time to break out the fact that she and OW are going away for the weekend. Great. I am trying to stay solid in the thought that spouse and I have had 2 full week vacations and 2 weekend things in the last year. OW has had nothing, which I believe is exactly what she deserves.
Bottom line is I'm going to have to find some situation in which I can say "I wonder how much longer you think we can go on like this? I don't know how much longer I can do it." then throw in some empathy like "it must be hard on you to be stuck between two people and constantly pulled. I wouldn't want to be you." Jeeze.
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
