I haven't posted in a little while. I have been torn about what I want to do as far as Dbing or throwing the towel in so I took a little break from posting but still have been lurking...
A few weeks ago I received a proposed separation agreement from my H. It was pretty much what I expected with the exception of in it he has a plan on how he would like to sell our house. All along he told me he wanted to stay in the house and not even consider selling it. So it was quite a shock to see that and I was so upset that he did not even have the decency to call and talk to me about this in person and that he would just let me read it in the agreement. I called to talk to him about this. He did apologize for me feeling blindsided about this but was just very rude in general and said a lot of rude and inappropriate things. He ended the conversation by saying that he no longer wanted any contact with me through phone and from now on if I need something I should email or TM him.
A few days later I emailed him because I needed copies of our tax information. I was very clear on how he could get these copies to me and none of it required him having to see me. He wrote back a day later stating he was out of town for work and would get the info to me later that week. I did not respond. Last Friday, he called and left me a message asking what I wanted and how he could get it to me. He then sent me a email on Easter asking the same thing. On Monday he sent me an email asking him to TM him about the info and then later on Monday he left me a message stating that I must have forgotten his phone number since I had not called him back so he wanted to leave it for me (and he did). So yesterday I sent him and email, quick and to the point, about how he could get the tax info to me. I have not heard from him since. I figure he will wait a few days before responding if he responds at all.
I know I probably should have responded to him sooner and that was a little to the extreme of not being available but I was so frustrated with him at the time I did not want to deal with it. I also don't know what I want. There is a big part of me that says screw it and I am done but there is still a part of me that thinks maybe it could work out… So I don't know. Currently, I am trying to decide between filing for a D myself or just responding to the proposed agreement. Right now I am leaning towards filing for a D but I think I would just be doing that out of anger and as a way to gain some control in this sitch. So I am taking some time to really think about it and weigh the pros and cons of both. H did not put the proposed agreement through the court system so I do not have a specific amount of time I have to respond in. My lawyer feels he needs some more info from my H before he can advise me so he has requested that which also buys some time.
I have been to IC throughout the past few weeks and we talked about how the things that H says and does to me are a projection of how he is feeling and actually have very little to do with me. The same with him blaming me for everything and we are also working on how I need to stop taking responsibility for or blaming myself for everything. She says he needs to own his issues and I do not allow him to do that. She is right so I am going to continue working on myself in that area! Other then that I have been keeping busy with work, family, & friends.
Any thoughts or insight would be great! Sometimes things seem so obvious but being directly involved in the situation I do not always see them...
