hmmm, I think from now on I will forever link giving birth with passing a kidney stone.
H continues to open up to me...he admitted that he had a tendency to take the easy way out of things, even as far back as when he met me. He knew I was capable and ambitious, and this made him feel less anxious about having the burden of being the provider. When difficult problems arose, it was easier for him to check out and let me deal with things. I enabled things by being overly responsible but inwardly resentful. My contribution is that I was involved in work and then kids and put him lower on the list. Over time, the distance between us reached a breaking point. He is now doing such a good job of stepping forward with himself, and I am able to give him the admiration he has wanted, but I withheld, because of my own resentments towards him. He is really such a nice, warm, loving guy and I am feeling blessed ( at the moment). I can see now that he has some sort of anxiety disorder which he tries to keep hidden...perhaps he was drawn to me initially because I was quite empathic and warm when we first met( we were friends first). Anyway, I have a lot of work ahead to get past the past, and I hope I can do it, so that we can have a future. Overall, he has been happier than I have seen him in years and there's a nice atmosphere in the house. I feel I am coming back to myself as well and have the capacity again to be supportive and caring.
