I haven't posted to you before, and only know your very recent sitch. So I'm just sending support here.
Like Lissie, I've only been at this about 2 years, and know nothing first hand about the MLC behavior during reconcilation. But she just sounds like she's still confused, depressed, and wanting to have it all.
I was reminded of the pursuer-distancer dance reading your post. It seems to me you have a chance here to just back way off, without giving up at all. YOu are D, you can go on being nice to her periodically, without pressing for anything else at all. IMO, letting her take the lead totally is your only choice.
I'm not saying you have to take the "crumbs" she offers. If you like being with her as a family, do it. If it hurts you, don't.
I hope that made some sense. I was getting hopeful reading your thread, and still am, I know they take a long time to come out, and they go backwards and forwards a lot being it is all "over."
