I just caught up on your thread. I see you've had a rocky several days, and like many of us, a tough Easter.
A couple of posts back, you talked about H seeing his children so little and even then being with OW at the same time he has the kids. To me, this just reeks of the self-absorption and insecurity of MLC. It just confirms the "diagnosis" in a way. He can't be away from the only person who approves of his life right now (!) and he can't put his kids needs ahead of that. Bleh. It stinks.
Also about H being envious of you. That really struck a chord with me, and maybe this identification will help you. I didn't realize it at the time, but H and I were both very envious of each other, about different things, all through the M. It wasn't on the surface, and it wasn't malicious, more depressed. I think we both did a lot of internal "scorekeeping" and acted as if there wasn't enough of whatever (time, attention, decision-making power, etc.) to go around. But looking back it has become really clear and I'm trying to work on that part about me while moving through this transition.
I love J's idea about having an OP comparison/competition. Really I haven't heard one person post about a particularly impressive or appealing OP. Just goes along with everything I've read about it being a predatory, using, opportunistic R.
Hugs nicola, you are sounding better the last couple of posts.
