I'm sorry you have had so much in your life. You're in a great place for support and comfort---you have the best in the folks who have responded to you.
You've said so much....so I want to respond to a few things. Remember only Michele and the DB Coaches are professionals as far as advice. Moderators and the other folks on the board are not. And I urge you to find an SBT therapist (first choice).
You've had a lot in your past, and to understand it all would take years. The one of the premises of SBT therapy is that understanding why something happens will not help you make the changes that are necessary. Making certain changes will improve your life whether you understand the whys.
Making changes that improve your life is what DB is about. You make a change, and monitor the results of that change. If it works for you, keep doing it, if it doesn't --- stop.
While with our care for you--we want you to leave to be safe. I am hearing from you that is just not going to be able to happen right now.
What actions/behaviors of yours in the past has precipitated peace and kindness from your husband? Do those things now. (I'll bet you already are instinctively).
Do you have good friends and/or family around you (if you said so, I missed it)?
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
