I did say yesterday, would you like to come with us for Easter? and he said he was thinking about it. COOL.
What's sad and funny, is that he brings the kids to church every sunday (for the last 6 months) because I play ketboard in the band and have to be there an hour earlier. SOOOOO, here he is bringing them...AND dropping them off, and 8 and 2 year old to walk into church together and sit in the pew, with me at the front of the church, and they sit there almost the WHOLE TIME by themselves.. except the serman. This is a lutheran church, so the serman is not the whole service. I know. Crazy. I'm so lucky that they are good. I've had several people tell me that too.
But he DID come today. I was so glad. He didn't even have time to shower, and still came. But what was bad is, I think he was in a little bad mood or something, because we went out to eat afterwards and he gets mad for the waiter for putting us in the back, and we'll have to walk ALL THE WAY, 20 feet, to the buffets. And he's cussing while he's saying this (quietly though). While I'm thinking, YEA we get a booth. But I didn't let it get me down.
I really hope he had a somewhat okay time in church. I know he hates it, well, he says he doesn't like it, but it's not THAT bad.
okay, I'm looking at the good things! And maybe someday he will come with us again. I can only pray. Thank you Jesus!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
ST, I'm happy to hear your prayers are being answered
I was wondering what the sermon was about & if there could have been something your H heard that annoyed him at all?
IMHO, by not pressuring him to actually come to Church & not reacting to his moods, you're doing a wonderful job of showing your H love.
I know my wife expressed a desire to learn & get involved ith my faith last year - I kept fobbing her off saying I was not ready yet....so maybe your H will take time to feel comfortable?
Is there anything in particular your H says he does not like about coming to services?
Keep praying ST - I found the following on Tamashii's thread which I posted to him a while back & I pray it gives you some strength also:
Quote:
Dear Lord, we come to You because there is really no other place for us to go. We need the power of Your Holy Spirit to comfort us and enable us to let go of the pain to which we hold so tightly. Lord, sometimes it's so hard to believe that we could be in this difficult place ... how did things get so messed up? And, what is the way out of this tangled web of negative circumstances? We don't want to be negative but Lord You know our hearts ... You know our weakness. Lord, we do not know what to do but our eyes are on You. You and You only have the Words of life and truth. There is no one else to whom we can go for help.
Lord, sometimes it hurts so much that we really don't know how to let it go. Lately it's hard to hold up our heads for we are so discouraged under the weight of our circumstances. Right now just about everything that we see in the natural makes it look as if our prayers have not made their way to You. People around us are calling us crazy and telling us to just get on with our lives. Lord, even people in the church have said things that don't line up with what Your word says.
Father, we desire to follow You completely and whole-heartedly. We believe that Your Word clearly says that YOU HATE DIVORCE, therefore, Lord, we are choosing to STAND for the RECONCILIATION AND RESTORATION OF OUR MARRIAGES. Whatever it takes Lord, we desire to stand with You against divorce. Help us O Lord to do and say what it is that You would have us do and say. Lord, we ask that You would have mercy on us and that You might pour an anointing of strength and hope upon each of us to enable us to continue standing until such a time when You bring our mates home and heal our marriages.
Lord, we ask that even right at this very moment, You soften hard hearts and create in each wayward spouse the desire to have a right relationship with You. Create a restlessness and hunger that will not be satisfied until our beloved partners come to You in full surrender. Call in those who have backslidden from the North, South, East and West. They belong to You and Your Word says that NO ONE shall be able to pluck them out of your Hand. Re-enlist each backslider and cause them to take their appropriate place in Your Army so that Your Body will be able to function as You intended.
We STAND together Lord, beseeching Your help for each and every home represented by our partners. Father, the Honor, Glory and Praise goes to You forever and ever for all that You have done and all that You will do on behalf of the restoration of Your people.
Father, our desperate and grateful hearts thank You for Your intervention. In Jesus Name. Amen and Amen
I don't think anything in the serman made him upset, it was more him not having time to shower, and trying to get kids and himself ready, which he never has had to do before.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
So glad he went to church with you, that's great! It's a little late but - Happy Easter!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
I don't think anything in the serman made him upset, it was more him not having time to shower, and trying to get kids and himself ready, which he never has had to do before.
I can relate to this as if I am going "out" it feels so much better to have showered before hand - it's hard to explain that feeling of "being dirty"
CM, I'm hoping the shower thing was all. I want him to have a good time at church.
In the beginning when me and s8 finally moved here, he mentioned he didn't like churches that had so much music and would rather listen to a preacher. Well, I really tried to find a church I thought he would enjoy more. He only went once or twice when looking. So I just went with what was comfortable to me. I was even thinking of joining somewhere else and then I somehow became the keyboardist (earning income too) there, so apparently God still wants me to go there.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Have you asked your H what exactly he dislikes about coming to church - IMHO don't ask him that again at the moment (now that he has actually attended).
I know that my wife kept asking me about my faith last year & I just told her "I'm not ready" so maybe your H has similar feelings?
Have you come across Judy Rousseau & her prayer group at all - you can subscribe to their daily emails (gotjoy at verizon dot net) and it might be a great idea to put yur H's name on their list?
Judy has a truly inspirational story about HER marriage being restroed agains all "worldly odds" - if you want the link, please let me know if you have not already heard their story.
I got this from her yesterday & if it was not due to the distance of sending the mail, I would also like to participate:
Quote:
On Memorial Day weekend, which would be Sunday, May 27th , Judy wants to have a special prayer time at the altar at Calvary Assembly of God in Jaffrey, NH, along with the Monday Night Ladies Beth & Ann, and take your pictures and prayer requests for your marriage to the altar in prayer. If you want to be remembered in this special prayer time, please snail mail (not e-mail) your prayer request note/message along with a picture of you and your beloved spouse. (It can be a family picture, too) Her address is: Judy Rousseau, 19 Briggs Road, Peterborough, NH 03458-1005
Anyway, I told the others on the board here I would be taking some time off (I've got too "close" to my situation [or lack of situation] the last few weeks) but I wanted to respond to you in the meantime!
Thanks CM ((((CM)))) your probably already "gone", but I thank you for the link. I will definitly try to find that link, and maybe even the letter.
I know he has said, he doesn't like all the music...basically he does not sing...although he LOVES music, but it's the "other" kind of music And I think he probably feels out of place (that was mentioned by another DBer I think and I never thought of it that way) and He says it isn't his "thing". I once said during the A, that I believed Satan hates marriage and something else, and he said "I almost laughed at you when you said that." That really hit me, but I know he is not going to "think" the same way I do because he is not a christian and I am, but something he said made me feel I had an opportunity to bring it up..
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
IMHO, your H is probably more "old school" and if so then he definitely would prefer a "quieter" type service where he feels less out of place - I've expereienced that when I was younger when I was still "religious" (I ditched everything afer my sister died in 1990 = long story) BUT I felt quite uncomfortable with people dancing & singing & speaking in tongues around me - maybe it's much the same for him.
I guess he needs to find his "niche" and once he's comfortable with that....well I guess other things can happen then
My thoughts are (IMHO, ok) we are both standing in the GAP for the salvation of our spouses
Even though you're a fully fledged "piecer" patience will still be required here and prolly even more than before as you wait on your Heavenly Father to work on your H - I know you & I are not in the same "place" marriage wise, but if you have time GO HERE as there are quite a few thngs that became clear to me by listening to this message today!
I will pray for your H & the continued piecing of your wonderful marriage!
And I think he probably feels out of place (that was mentioned by another DBer I think and I never thought of it that way) and He says it isn't his "thing". I once said during the A, that I believed Satan hates marriage and something else, and he said "I almost laughed at you when you said that." That really hit me, but I know he is not going to "think" the same way I do because he is not a christian and I am, but something he said made me feel I had an opportunity to bring it up..