My Heart's Journey into the Unknown

[I_Still_Love_Him]

Nicola,

There definitely seems to be a pattern with the WAS when it comes to choosing another partner. As already mentioned, they tend to choose partners who are less than the LBS in so many ways. It is definitely a reflection of their insecurities and the need to feel praised and in control. You are so right about our H feeling like the knight in shining armour coming in to save the day. WTH, just when they get to a point in our M where things are looking up and especially financially, they go and drag themselves down. My H is no different but you know they will come to resent it when they realize that they will have nothing to show for their hard work. Let me tell you a story about a female co-worker.

Her now XH had a PA 5 years ago with a woman with a child. Female co-worker wanted to save the M but he didn't want to give up OW. They split up and in the past 2 years he's been taunting her (constant phone calls at home, at work, wherever) wanting to get back together. She, of course has a new beau and is not interested in getting back with her XH. They have been D for 3.5 years now. Her XH was supposed to get M last summer to OW but she doesn't know what happened but the wedding didn't take place. The week before the wedding her XH was still trying to get my FF to go back with him. This is a man who is planning on getting M????

Make matters worse, OW was pregnant. CW had to file with Family Responsibility because her XH didn't pay child support for over a year. XH situation now - living in a 2 bdrm apt with OW 8 yr old son and their new baby; his car has been empounded and has to borrow a car to pick up his son since OW doesn't have a car of her own; he has no money to pay to get it; his salary is going to be garnished 50% until he has paid child support in full; says he won't be able to afford the rent especially since OW in not working now and now told CW that he is going to fight for custody of their son who has been living with CW all along. CW has a great paying job, a home, a loving and supportive family, an 8-yr old who simply adores her and somehow her XH thinks the court will grant him custody. What a loser.

What XH thought was the R that he wanted as it was better than what he had with his W (yea right) is finally becoming the reality that CW saw all along. For most WAH, this is the path that will become a reality.

Take care of YOU and the kids Nicola and the rest will fall into place. Like me, now is NOT the time to start a new R. You will know when the time is right. Who knows, by then our STBXHs may wake up and then again, maybe not.

You are a wonderful woman with so much to offer. We all know this now YOU have to believe in yourself.

Hugs,
ISLH

P.S. I may be taking a trip to the Belle Province next week. Check your email.