Tomorrow April 12 would be "our" 4 year wedding anniversary, this has been a cause for some rocky spots this week. On Easter I found myself crying for no reason.... then I realized it wasn't for no reason, but the reason wasn't really Kevin.
I realized that I was crying for Kevin not because of him. I was crying because I got to watch the girls find eggs.. I got to see their eyes light up. I got to see things that he will probably never care about to see (not with these children anyway, I pray constantly that he will enjoy his new family in a way he never ours) I am sad for him, because he threw so much away, he has dug himself one hole after another.... all with the breakdown of our marriage. Now he's left PA (probably because he has three different courtc cases surrounding him at once).
I know I will be sad tomorrow, but I take comfort in the fact that I tried to stand the test of time, I was compassionate, and willing to work through the rough patches and work with him. I take comfort in the fact that though it's been hard, I have never abandoned this family. I have peace, I look at my girls and I have peace. I know what I am doing is right, I found the path I need to be on, now I just need to keep rolling...
