Not that I thought I was a monster...but the way she acts towards me sometimes, I mean, all the hatred she has towards me sometimes...I just feel like for her to feel that way she had to see me as this awful person. Not that I felt I did anything major wrong...maybe things I should have done. Of course all she had to do was A-S-K!!!! There were times when I did do alot...around the house...trying to help take the load off...and she wasn't happy with that so... She seemed to like being the martyr or something. I guess it's not what she really wanted....my mind reading skills have always been weak. I can't even take a hint....she should have used the 2 x 4.
Yeah...unless a miracle happens...its the parents. Now there is a reason for the Jack :-)
I know I can't compete with OM...you're right, not even playing the same game....all the same it still feels good to do this for her...without any expectations on my part. And as a side note, she did mention that his bank acc is getting kinda low.... Yeah, gramps....buy another round!!!
More on that weird stuff...I can detatch around her..listen to OM talk...hang and just be friends....even massage her and not feel hopeful or anything ( though thats been a while) but when she does that treat me like a ghost stuff the next day or two later...I just don't get it...knocks me off my balance....brings up alot of sadness....and I realize just how far I have to go still.
There are those days where I feel just wonderful...not a thing can bother me....and days like today where I just feel lost and empty....and I feel like I'm doing the same things....
FINALLY talked to my friend...went out for beers last night...and well, his wife was right...he had no idea what to say....but I'm glad he made the effort.
M41 W36 D19 D17 Married 20 Years Bomb Dropped Feb 14,2007...Our Anniversary and Valentines Day
