Your wife is not a monster. I'm sure she's a good mom. But regarding her relationship with OM and her MLC, she's only thinking about her emotional state. Everything gets sacrificed for that.
I'm not sure. But talk to a lawyer.
You need to protect your children and your right to be with them.
Go for legal advice. Most divorce lawyers, unfortunately, do not always act in the interest of the marriage or the kids. They set up an adverserial situation.
