NEW THREAD FOR 2940 --- HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Heartbroken]

Tam,

Please listen to what everyone here is saying. My H and I are piecing and I am sooooo grateful to get Lin's perspective on not taking them back to soon. My H has been in the apt for seven weeks now and at first I could not wait for him to come home for good. Now I am starting to go through a lot of the feelings I repressed while being the good DB'er for him. I finally can be truly angry at him and sad in front of him - he is taking all my emotions and accepting them since he was not availble to do this until now. I am now questioning him on why he wants me - if it's just b/c the Ow let go first then I do not want him. I know I love him tons and want to be with him - but it cannot be one sided or it will not work. I am at the point where he needs to help me see where he is at and why he wants to be together again. I cannot have him back unless he can show me why he wants to be back. This last month has been good and bad - very bittersweet - I could just sweep everything under the rug but I do not want to end up here again in five years.

You are getting tons of good advice and yet you stick your head in the ground on most of it. I feel you are stalling the office move b/c you just cannot let go. What you fail to realize you cannot move forward until you truly let go - and actions speak louder than words. It's hard to fool this group - we have all BEEN THERE and we are only trying to help save you any unnecessary pain but sometimes we can only grow by going through the pain. Only you can change this by changing YOU-- NOT H, NOT OW only YOU!!!

Belive me the Piecing part isn't any easier - there are still as many doubts on our success...

Take care and try to really understand what we are all saying - I know it's so damn hard but at this point what is your alternative????