The fat lady is warming up....

[stilldazed]

Im sure you are more up to speed on Oregon law than I, I just know my dad filed for seperation 6 years ago, and divorce I believe 3 years ago. Since then I dont really know other than their court dates keep getting pushed back. My mom doesnt want the D, so my dad probably would rather pay the filing fees over and over again so he doesnt have to give her half plus alimony since the interest on her half exceeds the filing fee...who knows how that will shake out.

I try to stay out of it.

Almost 3 months huh...well you have a much better PMA than I would if you look at it as a relief. Stay strong, Im hoping you get a card for St Patricks day card.

[alamogirl]

Hey OldFool and everyone else,

Well, I was fine...living my life, just waiting for the moment my lawyer would call to tell me when the divorce would be finalized.

Then WAH called. He called yesterday. I hate to admit I was a little excited to hear from him. I think it showed in my voice...daggummit . The last time I went to my C session, my C said that I may start to "fantasize" about H. I didn't know exactly what she meant, but I found myself doing just that. I started to fantasize that H missed me, and that he e-mailed me to tell me, and that he was willing to drop his requests (regarding his portion of my retirement & 401K) just so we could start talking again. In my fantasy, we go through with the divorce, but we start getting reaquainted again. In the end, we don't remarry but we stay together...sigh...how's that for a soap opera.

Anyway, my H called last night just to see how I was doing. He asked about work, about the house, the dogs, and my car. I had a lot to say and gave him an earfull. There was a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, he was starting to regret the divorce. And then he ruined it...he asked me if I was delaying the divorce ! WHAT?! He caught me completely off guard, but I said, "NO," which is true. Later, I wished I would have told him not to flatter himself, but I didn't think fast enough . Anyway, my H told me that his lawyer is doing a 2-week reserve duty. I told him that his lawyer keeps asking for extensions. He blamed my lawyer. So...

That blew my fantasy and any glimmer of hope I may have had. I think someone put him up to it, a friend, a family member, or a girlfriend...I don't know. My H is not one to ask those types of things. He's the type to "wait and see." So, I found it so unlike him to ask me this question.

My next C sesson is tomorrow evening.

Well, hope you are doing well. See, I'm not the only one who enjoys reading your posts :).

All my best,
alamogirl

[OldFool]

Good to hear from you! Sorry your interaction wasn't better.

Anyway, my H called last night just to see how I was doing. He asked about work, about the house, the dogs, and my car. I had a lot to say and gave him an earfull.

Probably a little bit to eager. I do wish you could have held back a bit. It's the first contact in a while so you don't want to scare them off.

Later, I wished I would have told him not to flatter himself, but I didn't think fast enough.

It's just as well, that wouldn't have done either of you any good.

My next C sesson is tomorrow evening.

I'm glad you're still going. I hope it is productive for you.

I think often of you and pray you ultimately find peace and happiness.

[OldFool]

tigerleland:

I don't know if you're out there or not. The last thread you posted to locked up and I don't see another for you. If you're still around, let me know how you're doing. You're in my thoughts.

[alamogirl]

Hey OldFool,

Just checking for any updates.

My soon-to-be-ex called me the other day (again). This time, I wasn't excited to hear from him. He told me that he found a job and wanted to know if his steel-toe shoes were still in the closet. I said, "no." I didn't initiate any conversation. I just answered his questions. He got the hint, and we hung up.

Later, I was on the computer checking out a band's website. I noticed a link to this band's myspace.com blog. Of course, my curiosity got the best of me, so I performed a search to see if my H had a blog...yep, he does. He set it up 18 May 2006, about 2 weeks before we separated. He doesn't have anything on it except 2 members...his son and step-son. I also noticed that he updated his blog recently and said that he was 'single.' Well, he's obviously moved on. I mean, I have too, but I'm going about it differently than he is. I'm not setting up myspace blogs. Before I know it, he's picture will probably be on match.com. Gosh, is that what I have to look forward to...people telling me that they saw my H's pic on the internet?

Well, I hope things are going well for you. I'm still waiting for my divorce to become final.

Take care.

All my best,
alamogirl

[OldFool]

I was wondering about you just a couple nights back. It's nice to hear from you. You sound like you're in a pretty good place right now (not so much drama...not feeling so bad about things). If that's right, I'm pleased to hear it. It doesn't mean you don't wish the circumstances were different, but it's a relief when the raw pain subsides. Continue learning and making yourself a better person. The better you are, the better the kind of person you will attract (and I have no doubt you will find someone who will love you for who you are and what you'll have become).

I'd like to give you an update...but I literally have nothing to report. I haven't spoken with my WAW (apart from a couple tax issues) in some time and there has been no movement on any front so far as I can tell. The only thing I can say is that in a VM three weeks back about taxes, my WAW ended with, "Maybe we can see each other some time." I give this very little consideration, but it is interesting. However, I'm not interested in seeing her at this point.

[OldFool]

Well folks, tough day today. I've been pretty good for the last several months, but I found out today I'm losing my job at the end of the week. I'm not the first here to take the double hit, but though I'm in good company, it doesn't make me feel much better.

The pain of losing my M, my W, now my job, and (depending on circumstances) possibly my home, is a bitter pill to swallow. I pray I come out the other side of this as "gold tried in the fire".

[stilldazed]

OF-
First off, I am so sorry to hear the bad news. When it rains it truly pours. Nothing I can say would ease the pain, but you have provided me with so much valuable insite I almost feel indebted to you.

I remember way back someone asked you about what you did professionally and you seemed to side step the question so I wont ask, but if you feel comfortable disclosing the industry or something general I would be interested in listening. As far as your home, there are alot of solutions, and things you can do immediately to help your chances. I believe IWMIW has some expertise in this too. If you feel comfortable discussing such matters I am all ears and may actually have some helpfull advice (as opposed to my DBing). If not, that is just fine too, but you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

[I_Wanna_Make_It_Work]

Praying for you today OF. You're a survivor, remember that. Just another challenge you will overcome. I'm happy to give any insight in I can.

[OldFool]

Thanks stilldazed and IWMIW.

Right now I'm just trying to do nothing (which is hard) and let the dust settle a bit. Though I feel like the Morton salt girl, I also know that the roof won't fall in tomorrow and I'm holding onto that right now to get me through.

Will have to talk with the STBXW about this in the not-too-distant future as this could substantially change the landscape. I'm not looking forward to that.

Talked with a couple head-hunters today. I'll fill in more details when my head stops spinning. Think I'll go read a few chapters in Job tonight (feeling a kinship with the guy for some reason ).