hey sr- just getting back onto my computer after a break of sorts... i did get your e-mail and will reply soon. as far as gifts, try not getting her anything. i'm afraid you are making things a bit too easy on her. she feels as though you are still there, as you always have been, no matter how poorly she treats you. this thing is a done deal for right now, so i think it would actually do you and her some good if you push her away a bit. don't be an a$$hole, but don't be nice either. just indifferent.
as for your feelings, get angry. let yourself feel. this is the only way to truly get to the place you need to be. some say that divorce is worse than death; your loved one is so close, yet impossible to touch. i totally understand your want to hang on to her, and if you want to keep a bit of hope for your relationship, do it, but keep it in a tiny little box on a shelf. it must be put away for now.
sr, you have got to find your power and take it back.
