He said he's seeing someone new

[phoenix23]

Wow, hopeless, you do have a lot in common with my sitch and Ophelia's too - I'm discovering that there are a fair number of younger childless couples who have been together for a good number of years on this board, and it seems to me, though this may be a generalization, that it is usually the husband who walks away, and quite often there is an OW either overlapping with the marriage or immediately following the split. I never would have imagined that what is happening to me fits into some sort of not all that uncommon pattern. How horrible.

To answer your question about moving on, hopeless (sorry to threadjack, Ophelia), I find myself wondering about that a lot too. I know that I have lots of time to start my life over, and in some ways it is tempting to do just that - to say to hell with this and start looking for, or at least being open to the possibility of, a relationship without a history of hurt like this. In many ways it seems like we have so much baggage now that it would be like beating a dead horse. Never mind the fact that I'm not sure that my family would ever accept him again - I'm fairly certain that my brother would punch my H out if he ever saw him, actually. That stuff makes it hard to see any hope of this working out. So often I wonder why I still want it to.

I guess my easiest answer is that I feel like I will never again find someone I love the way I love my H, that I feel as comfortable with, who makes me as happy as I felt with him. I know lots of people find love again after a divorce, but I don't want just any love, I want the same kind of love - maybe because it's the only kind of love I've ever known, maybe because I think it is a very pure and good kind of love that doesn't happen every day... maybe I'm just scared to start over. I don't know. I struggle with these questions every day.

What say you, Ophelia?