If I had known it was that easy, I would have done that long ago.
But, honestly I didn't think reconnection would be "difficult". I know that sounds ridiculous, but really I didn't. Maybe because while H was in MLC all I wanted was him back. I didn't think about the next step. Or how my emotions would be shaken to the core.
I've read your latest thread and have some thoughts. Mainly because I see some of my H in yours. But, let me collect my thoughts and I will post them on your thread tomorrow.
P & S
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. - David Viscott
They put me on amitryptlin (sp?). It's a little pink pill. I know it takes a bit for them to work, but I've been dealing with this for almost 6 weeks now. I've been on the meds for a little over 2 weeks.
I'm sure they will figure something out. But, I just wish it was instant!
P and S
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. - David Viscott
Stress is a killer of young attractive DBers. It causes fatal migranes. They intensify during reconnection it seems. There is all that pressure to do things right and make life better for everyone.
You both need to look for some ways to decompress. Look for a book on meditation, or better yet ... a group to join outside the house. Yoga and meditation can go a long way toward relieving the source of your dis-ease right now. You must find ways to relax so you can handle the changes.
You know I strongly encourage soaks in the tub with candles, but getting a life outside the center of the storm is important. Look to continue your GAL and avoid becoming dependent upon H as the source of your contentment or happiness again.
Hope you both take special care of yourselves during these trying times.
I do my best to find ways to decompress. Everyday I work out alone in our bedroom. Ballet is my choice. I usually spend an hour or so alone. It feels good to sweat after a long day at work.
I do try to GAL outside of the home and away from H. But, I find it difficult due to knowing so little people here. I'm usually shy when it comes to meeting new people, and don't readily put myself out there. I'm pretty selective on people who I let into my life. (Maybe that's why I only have a few good friends.) Of course like I tell my SS11, that it's good to have lots of acquaintences, but it's better to have a few great friends.
I used to suffer from migraines while I was still in high school, but eventually they went away. So, maybe I still had them but just never noticed or they weren't as bad.
Anyhow, I do find ways to let off steam. But, buying purses (my secret passion) every day gets pretty expensive. Funny thing though....my H never wanted to spend time with me. He would always choose going out with his friends over spending time with me or the boys.
It got to the point where he was gone every single weekend and I was left at home to take care of the boys alone. And then sometimes during the week (depending on the weather) he would go out golfing, come home drunk and pass out at 6 or 7 pm. It was so frustrating and tiring. Mainly because I felt like a free baby sitter.
Anyhow, so since he's come out of MLC and I'm a (most of time) faithful DBer....he stays home with me. Because he knows that is what I need and the boys need. A Dad...and husband who is actually around. So, I am savoring every single second of it.
PS
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. - David Viscott
It's funny but my headaches have subsided since being put on AD's. Things are going pretty well for h and I and I have finally begun to relax!!! WooHoo!!!
I hope I will continue to be a success story!!!!! Thank you W2S!
