ssm--low desire with spouse..but not ld person

[Crazy Eddie]

His head was elsewhere and is often consumed with his work. He is an owner...which makes it challenging ....He has a lot on his shoulders.

Do you think he's carrying that load well? Does he think so? Or is he expecting everything to fall apart at any minute? What you've said so far leads me to think the latter... that he thinks his business is about to go straight to hell and he's about to be exposed as an incompetent loser. Pessimism in this area can spill over into his whole life, make him cranky and spaced out and unconfident, and affect your perception of him.

You know I feel like I can never be happy with myself unless I stay where I am at...with my size. Now a size 0-2. But I kinow that the size is only because I workout all of the time to get that release and that endorphin oost.

Working out is a good idea... keeps your energy level up. And being overweight is a physical and mental drag, so you have some justification to think that staying at a healthy weight is important. However...

btw, thanks for the nice compliment about the weight loss....I look the best I have ever looked...yet inside i feel like such a mess. Such a fraud.

So even at a healthy weight, you don't feel good about yourself. While gaining all that weight back would just make things worse, there is something else bugging you now that's distracting you from enjoying the good things in your life and truly connecting with the people you love, and the same seems to be true of him. Whatever it is, you might have previously eaten to escape from it, and now you might be exercising to escape from it. You've got to get to a point where you can actually let go of it for good instead of hiding from it or suppressing it.

How can you do that? I'll tell you as soon as I manage to do it myself!