ELLteacher...you will get better responses if you create your own post...and please give the details of things because you really haven't told us much in the way of what is going on and why you feel the way you do...
Now on to Tam....okay, some improvement on the questions but I am warning you now...don't take the good result as an okay to continue this...you really really pushed by asking him that in the first place...and then you really really really really pushed it by asking to him to explain it at the job sight...
Good thinking on why you didn't cry...could the tears be a temper tantrum cause your not getting your way???...as a little girl did this work with mom and dad???
You have some good results...some positives....BIG ones...now what are you going to do???...push and question
*****why is it okay if he says we're going to ultimately work on things for him to continue to sleep with OW but if he says we're NOT going to work on things it's no longer okay and I meltdown? Also, he only told me about a month ago now that he did NOT want to work on our M or be married anymore, and he could tell me tomorrow that same thing. And he could come home tomorrow, and he could never come home, and he could come home in a year, etc., etc.*****
or are you going to accept that you crossed a bridge (a shakey one at best) and you are so fortunate that it didn't colapse that you will now find a way around that bridge to get back where you need to be...
Remember this....you and H are not ready to get back together...you and H are not ready to work on the M...you both have issues although he is keeping his quiet from you...but honey you have some major ones that if he did come home right now you would drive him right out the back door and burn every bridge around you...there would be no salvaging...
Also, take a lesson from me....I skipped a few pre-requisits that I had for H coming home....now my D20 says that she feels I let come home too soon and that he is now taking all of that for granted...I am suffering in my own making of things now....again....HE wasn't ready to come home...and now we have to go back and fix this mess....my Elders have already told me that it may not work out like I want....this scares me...to know that I have had him back for a year and maybe.....yes, maybe he could leave us again...and not come back this time...
I don't want you to face this HELL again, Tam...please listen through my own grief right now...put the focus back on you...forget what he said (he could change his tone, like you said)....and just work on getting yourself where you need to be...then...and only then....will you be ready for the next step...skipping steps and getting what you want fast doesn't work...like rising bread...if you put in the oven before the yeast has a chance to work...you end up with a brick!!!...well hit me over the head!!!!
