Backslide today....more like landslide!!

[25yearsmlc]

M2,

tell the L your H is asking her to keep secrets--a HUGE NO NO in this state. Also, so what if your H doesn't tell you he lost his job, IF you still get paid support? Assuming you do not get support payments from him, which I assume is the real problem, go to court. Get the money allotted from the court, or let him borrow from his family, don't do his dirty work, but hold him to his obligations. Don't let pride stop you either, b/c this is for your kids sake. BUT, maybe his pride prevents him from telling you he lost yet another job--I say that is good b/c he isn't whining to you about his bad luck and giving excuses for not paying you....or is he?

Also, wth do you mean you don't have any money, if you have a salary? Get access to your money asap, please. Anyhow, in this state a child psych is often asked to meet with the kids if there is a custody dispute or even just an issue about the child's welfare, how they're handling it...etc. Point is, have a c meet with the child and or, get some sort of "rules" or "do's and don'ts" for parents in divorce situations. Keeping secrets is on the "don't do" list. Also, keep a journal of his contacts with the kids, how often he misses visitations, re-schedules, arrives late, pays late or too little, etc. This is not about punishing him, it's about keeping records IF it comes to that...just b/c you are armed doesn't mean you'll shoot, but you are in an adversarial process now and your H is your adversary. Sorry.
j-