She's not much more than a roommate

[toughlover]

Well there's no way to know how it's gonna go, but I have a WAW who never actually walked away, and we're going on 10months post-bomb.

It's been ups and downs for us, too. I'm still resentful and probably will be for some time. Our first few months were excruciatingly difficult. Then it got better kind of fast and we had a short honeymoon phase back around Christmas, then it got real tough again (more for me than for her, it seems).

I started getting what I thought I wanted from her, to some degree, but discovered I wasn't sure if I wanted it or not, could trust it or not. I think that's pretty natural when you've been betrayed...and the more deeply the deception runs, the tougher it is to get over and get going.

Now we're back into another really good phase...at least, as good as it gets.

Best thing you can do is be better for yourself and kids. Give her the space she wants while always making clear what YOU want so long as she's open to hearing it. That's tricky. A little goes a long way, trust me. Don't expect instant feedback. Do it cause you want to, not because you're trying to get something from her.
It'll help get you where you need to be going.

It helped us that we both have been committed to the marriage and willing to do what it takes. It hasn't been easy, as you know. Still isn't. Probably won't be for a long time, if ever.

Still, we're being honest and have been happier with each other than we've been for a long time. The kids have, too.